Taking the Pressure Off of Myself

I was standing over my tee shot on the final hole of a golf round the other day when I began to feel a bit nervous. I was a few good shots away from capping off an excellent performance. But I was starting to feel a bit of pressure as I realized I could be on the verge of my best round ever.

This got me thinking. Why does pressure exist? And also, what can I do about it?

I’d created the pressure

In the times I feel pressure, it’s a result of having expectations about how a situation is going to turn out and then comparing reality to that in a good-and-bad, black-and-white manner. Something like, “Wow, I’m playing really well today. At this point, I’m counting on shooting my best score ever. If I don’t, that’ll be disappointing now that I’ve gotten my hopes up.”

The way I define success for myself in moments like these has a pretty sizable impact on how I end up feeling.

With this definition of success, I am allowing for disappointment to potentially be the main reaction I have to the outcome.

Attaching to experience

I kept thinking. What if my only criterion for enjoyment or success in moments like these was to enjoy the experience? Redefining what success meant seemed like a freeing idea... and an idea that would put me at ease.

Suddenly, I was just on the course to enjoy the sunny evening and time with my friend. No matter what else happened or where my subsequent shots ended up, I could go home happy and grateful.

The result of this change grants me more power to control how I experience the experiences in my life. Of course, I’ll still be excited if I do end up with my best round yet and a bit frustrated if I get close and fall short. But that all becomes secondary.

This comes back to the basic Zen principle of non-attachment, which suggests that we ought to engage with experiences for what they are without clinging to them or certain outcomes from them.

Working generally toward what’s good

Telling myself that the outcome doesn’t matter isn’t a way to circumvent the need for quality work. Achieving my best round ever does indeed take practice ahead of time and focus as I hit each shot. The same need for work and intention applies to any goal I may have. (I’d even argue that consistency of effort is another success in and of itself.)

If I do what’s needed and work diligently, I will naturally move in the direction of what’s good. Because of that, my best shots and rounds are out there ahead of me. And, if I walk the path while remembering that the goal is to enjoy the path, then the scenery becomes a touch more beautiful.